


Secrets Make Friends

by NoExtraordinaryAuthor



Series: Thlaise [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Discussion of non-con, Friendship, Hints of Thaise, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, slytherin squad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 17:37:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11422851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoExtraordinaryAuthor/pseuds/NoExtraordinaryAuthor
Summary: Secrets are a valuable currency to Slytherins. One night near the end of Fourth Year, nine Slytherins gather to play a game. Their game of choice is always an exchange of secrets, but on this particular night Zabini learns something he might have preferred to not know.





	Secrets Make Friends

**Author's Note:**

> This is very much not a Thlaise fic, but there may or may not be hints of pining. This is me experimenting with Slytherin friendships and what that would look like. This is somewhat angsty, I guess. The ending is melancholy, just so you know what to expect.
> 
> Full warnings included in the end note.

They gathered in a circle, their configuration always the same. Malfoy book-ended by Parkinson and Crabbe. Goyle next to Crabbe and Davis. Bulstrode beside Davis as her support. Zabini between Bulstrode and Nott because they are the two who are the most fun to tease. Nott and Greengrass have a surprisingly close friendship, so they are beside each other. Parkinson and Greengrass sit next to each other because they are the closest things to being best friends that Slytherins can manage: they are true allies. 

They only play this game in the dead of the night under the protection of various secrecy spells. This is the sort of game only Slytherins would play for fun. It’s less of a game and more of an exchange. The rules are simple: they go around the circle and each person gets asked a question that they must answer honestly. The game ends when one member decides not to share their answer.

They played for the first time near the end of their third year. It started out very innocent, though at the time it felt scandalous. Eventually the game evolved. The game escalated quickly at the start of their fourth year until they all had endless dirt on the other participants. 

These days the questions are tamer, fueled more by curiosity than a need for blackmail material. Though, the game can still be used as a method of cruelty. Shortly after Christmas break, Parkinson discovered how close Nott and Greengrass had become. She always has been insecure in her relationships, so she became very angry with Nott. She instigated the game and used Nott’s first turn to force him into recounting in excruciating detail how his father had punished him when he discovered that his son had been beaten to top marks by a mudblood. 

Nott Senior’s abuse is something that they all knew, but never openly discussed. Zabini thought that the game would end then and there, but Nott always surprises him. Not only did he answer the question, but he even provided more details than were strictly necessary. During the entire story his face remained perfectly impassive. 

Everyone expected him to return the favour in kind when it was Parkinson’s turn, yet he surprised everyone again by not taking the opportunity. In fact, he never directly addressed her for the rest of the game or the following weeks. When he eventually spoke to her again it was to offer to proofread her potions essay. 

Parkinson isn’t stupid, she knew this was going to be his retribution. But after stewing for three weeks, she was more than ready to get this over with. Greengrass had been angry with her for the whole time and ended up spending even more time with Nott.

So she let him help her and didn’t even look over his changes. This was his right, she understood. She may put up a good front, but she isn’t heartless and she knew how much it had cost him to reveal his vulnerability to the group. 

Imagine her surprise when she got an O on the essay. He never explained why he didn’t take his opportunity, nor would he ever. But Parkinson knew this was his way of expressing his forgiveness without having to acknowledge that she had wronged him and had never actually asked for forgiveness. 

That was always one of Nott’s biggest weaknesses: if left long enough he would always forgive, no matter what they had done to him. 

On this spring night, they gathered in the common room and put up the usual spells. Malfoy always went last, so Crabbe was always first. Crabbe and Goyle would usually ask the questions for each other, because they knew each other’s weaknesses best.

“Okay, so if you had to fuck one mudblood at this school…. which one would it be?”

“What? I wouldn’t. Not ever. That’s fucking disgusting.”

“It’s a hypothetical Crabbe, and we all know you aren’t going to end the game on the first question, so just answer already.” Zabini sighed. 

Crabbe considered it for a minute while still looking thoroughly disgusted. “I guess…If I had to…that Pritchard girl isn’t completely hideous. Now, Goyle, same question!”

“Same answer.” Goyle snickered. “But I call first.”

“You are both disgusting! Nobody is going first because it was hypothetical. Honestly!” Parkinson huffed. “Now, Davis–”

“Same question?” Goyle chortled. 

“No! Obviously not. Davis, if you had to pick one professor to fuck, which would it be?”

Davis rolled her eyes. “You keep asking that, expecting a different answer, but it honestly is Professor Moody! He’s rugged and dangerous!” Davis blushed. 

“Well, there’s no accounting for taste! Bulstrode! Which would you rather? Being locked on the astronomy tower all night by yourself or announcing to the great hall at dinner that you want to snog Hagrid?” Parkinson asked with a gleam in her eye.

“Just to be clear, I’m not doing either. But I would pick the tower, then I could get away from you idiots!” Bulstrode snapped.

Malfoy jumped in before Parkinson could continue dominating the game. “Zabini…” it was clear he hadn’t thought of a question and just wanted to get involved.

“Okay, so we know you’ll fuck anything that moves…. But do you have a preference?”

Zabini looked intrigued by this question. 

“Gender-wise? Not really…. Well, girls are sexier than guys. That’s just a fact. So, for being sexually attracted just based on looks I’d have to pick girls, but if we’re being candid…” He turned his shit eating grin to stare straight at Nott, his favourite target. “There’s nothing more gratifying than having a man fall apart at the seams for you, begging for you to fuck him harder. Watching a boy lose control on my fingers is the single sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Nott managed to maintain most of his nonchalance, but Zabini could see the tightening of his shoulders. Zabini suspected that Nott wasn’t interested in him, but managing to get these little reactions out of a boy who was usually unshakable is almost as gratifying as if they were fucking. Besides, Zabini knows that these suggestive conversations are the closest to fucking that Nott’s ever been. 

“So Nott… what about you? Do you have a preference?” Zabini coated his voice with as much sex as he could. 

Nott hadn’t had the opportunity to gather himself, so his surprise was almost visible. After a few seconds of thought Nott just gave a small shrug.

“Ahh, so your taste goes both ways? Why have you never crawled into my bed, huh?” Zabini teased.

Nott looked at him for a second before quietly responding. “My interest in boys and girls is equal only because I don’t have an interest in either.”

“What? No, that’s not possible Nott. You’re only saying that because you’re such a virgin!” Parkinson jumped in. “Not interested in either? So what? You like trolls or something?”

“Okay, Parkinson! He’s answered his question, you’ll just have to wait until next time.” Malfoy interjected. Malfoy had always understood things about Nott that none of the rest of them had, so it was possible that he had already known. One of the benefits of having known each other since birth was that they truly understood each other. This was also the largest disadvantage. 

“Greengrass, if you could pick who your sister gets married to, who would you pick?” Malfoy carried on valiantly. 

As Greengrass answered, Zabini considered Nott. He was fidgeting slightly, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of further quantifying his sexuality. This was intriguing to Zabini, because he personally had never given a shit about his own sexuality, but had almost ended the game the first time he was asked about his mother’s husband habit. Yet Nott had not shown any signs of discomfort when addressing his shitty home life, but was wavering after this one fairly tame question. 

Zabini decided to spare Nott and ask him something that might be less difficult for him to answer. The trick was that if it was too obvious the others would revolt and take over Nott’s questioning. So it had to be a real question and it should still be on topic. 

“Hmmm… well if I had to pick I guess I’d rather all my hair fall out, which should be a testament to how gross Longbottom is!” Parkinson answered her question.  
The rest of the questions went by quickly. Clearly everyone wanted to get back to Nott’s turn. 

Malfoy would fuck Moaning Myrtle if she was corporeal. Crabbe agreed, but Goyle surprisingly said he wouldn’t. Davis would rather face ten boggarts than one dementor. And Bulstrode doesn’t currently have a crush on anyone and hasn’t since Marietta Edgecombe last year. 

“Zabini, if you had to pick one Gryffindor, which would you choose to be your next daddy?” Greengrass questioned. This was a favourite of hers, having him choose a new person for his mother to fuck and kill. 

“What a creative question, Greengrass. Who do I want to die the most? Literally any Weasley, but preferably one of the twins.” Zabini rolled his eyes. He found that leaning into the rumors of his mother’s extracurricular activities meant that he had to discuss it less. 

“Nott!” Zabini quickly exclaimed before Parkinson had the chance. “So you don’t want to fuck any of us, but if you had to… which of us would you pick?” It was an interesting enough question, yet it wasn’t overly personal.

Nott thought for a split second before responding, “You.”

“Wait, me? Why me?” Zabini sputtered.

“No way! I couldn’t ask an additional question last time, so you don’t get to this time!” Parkinson growled. “Greengrass, if you were going to go lesbian who would you do it with?”

Greengrass laughed easily and answered that she’d go gay for the Shadid girl in the year above them if she ever got the chance. 

Greengrass in turn asked Parkinson the same question. Parkinson was clearly miffed that Greengrass hadn’t picked her, so she responded that she’d deflower Astoria in an instant.

As the circle continued, Zabini could only think of Nott. He knew that every decision Nott made was based on logic. Did Nott choose him because he wanted to get him back for the times Zabini teased him? Or was it a legitimate answer to the question?

Malfoy admitted to having a wet dream about Potter, but it was only once and it wasn’t really about him, he was just there, so it doesn’t count. Crabbe said that he thought that out of the group Zabini would have the best chances of winning the Triwizard Tournament (you’re athletic, good with spells, and ruthless). Goyle admitted to his first crush having been on his nanny. Davis said that if she had to be a creature she would want to be a banshee. Bulstrode said that the most embarrassing book she has read in public was one of those trashy erotic novels that really shouldn’t be stocked in the school library. 

“Zabini, which one of us would you like to fuck least?” Asked Davis, clearly expecting him to say her. 

“Probably Crabbe, but knowing that Nott wouldn’t be into it puts him in competition with Crabbe. I like them begging, but not begging for me to stop. So Nott, what criteria made you pick me? My charm? My beautiful…entirety?” Zabini teased.

“Three criteria: would recognize that I was not a willing participant, would be able to take charge of the situation, and would make it as bearable as possible. Daphne, would you rather die alone or marry Crabbe?”

“Definitely die alone!” Greengrass giggled. 

The game continued uneventfully until almost an hour later when Parkinson refused to answer who her first time was. This was a cheap question, because they all knew she wouldn’t answer. 

As the group slowly separated and headed to bed, Zabini stayed behind. Nott got up and said good night to Greengrass and headed upstairs. After everyone else had cleared out he came back to meet Zabini. 

“Zabini.” Nott acknowledged.

“Well? Care to share your reasoning?” 

Nott sighed and curled up on the armchair Malfoy had been occupying. 

“The selection pool was our group and the situation was that I was being forced to fuck someone. I would want it to be someone who understood that… That I wasn’t exactly willing. I don’t trust Crabbe or Goyle to pick up on those cues. Or I guess to adjust their behaviour based on them. Parkinson needs constant validation, so if I picked her she would assume it was because of how irresistible she is and not think about… about me. Davis is a virgin, so there’s a chance that she would be too concerned with other factors to worry about the implications on my end.”

Zabini nodded in agreement, this reasoning was valid so far. It was also typical Nott, to have made his decision based on thorough reasoning, yet it had only taken him a millisecond to reach the conclusion.

“Because I have no experience or desire, I imagine that I would be completely lost and therefore would need someone who would be able to take charge. That excludes Daphne and Bulstrode. Bulstrode only passed the first round because she assumes that no one would ever willingly be with her. Therefore, she wouldn’t take charge because she would be expecting a trap. For me to laugh at her for thinking I would ever want her. Daphne… I love Daphne, but I also know her. Her whole life she’s been trained to be the perfect Pureblood Bride. She’s been brought up to believe that her contribution should be to follow every whim of the man in the equation. Even though she would understand the situation, I don’t know if she would be able to take the lead.”

“So that leaves me and Malfoy.”

“Yes. I’ve known Draco my entire life. He would understand the situation. Except, he would take it upon himself to try to make it as enjoyable as possible for me. That means he would go all out. Try to impress me and… That would be too much. I don’t want any sex, but I really don’t want it to be more involved than it strictly has to be. And that leaves you.”

“Huh, yeah I guess that makes sense.” Zabini was slightly put out. He had hoped that the decision had more to it than just the process of elimination.

Nott picked up on his disappointment right away and correctly diagnosed it. It was not disappointment that Nott wasn’t interested in him, it was disappointment because Nott hadn’t picked him based on trust. Except he had. He just hadn’t wanted to put it into words.

“Look… You’re clever and experienced. You’re considerate enough to make sure your partner wanted it. I know that you would realize my position and adjust your behaviour because of it. You are experienced enough to know how to take charge and make me do as little as possible. I also trust that you would make it as perfunctory as possible. You would make sure it wouldn’t be too horrible for me and you would bother to check in with me afterwards. This is why I chose you. You understand people and… and you care about them. At least to some degree.”

“Nott…”

“I’m going to bed, shall we not discuss this ever again?”

“Yeah, of course. Just… I know it was hypothetical… But if you ever decide to… I don’t know, experiment? If you want to try things with someone who understands your position and wouldn’t force you to… to do anything. Just, if you ever need anything you can let me know.”

Nott nodded in a way that made it clear that he appreciated the gesture, but would never take him up on the offer. 

Once he was alone, Zabini felt empty. He usually did when he was alone. 

All these years and he finally got his answer. Nott would never want him. And he had offered himself up like an idiot, even after being told that Nott would never want him. 

At least this means Zabini can stop wondering. 

Love is for the weak. His mother’s voice rang out in his head.

As Nott lay in his bed, he considered the offer. He had never felt any desire for sex from anyone. But sometimes he wondered what it might feel like to be held. 

Don’t be such an idiot, Nott. Don’t you realize how much he’d laugh at you if you asked Zabini to cuddle? He only offered because it’s his goal to fuck the unfuckable. He’s a decent guy, but he could never love you. Especially if you didn’t give him the one thing you could offer him. 

Nott eventually drifted to sleep, feeling at ease after accepting that he was still unlovable. That he always would be.

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: References to child abuse, though not graphic. The knowledge of this child abuse is used as leverage to cause the victim discomfort. There is discussion of a hypothetical situation in which an unwilling participant would have to have sex. There are many references to underage sex and some talk of hypothetical sexual relations between students and teachers. A character who falls under the Ace Umbrella is badgered about their sexuality and is clearly uncomfortable. References to murder. 
> 
> I think that's everything, but please let me know if I missed something!
> 
> I love Thlaise dearly, but I can't picture them having an easy start to their relationship. In my mind Theo is asexual, but not aromantic. In the years after this fic they do eventually fall in love and have a healthy, fulfilling relationship, but that is something that takes a lot of time and work for them to develop.


End file.
